How Cancer Affects Those Around Us

Discovering that a friend or family member is suffering from Cancer can have a devastating psychological effect. Even if it has been openly discussed as a possibility there is always a part of us that is convinced it won't be. Some peoples first reaction is to presume they are going to die, while just as many are convinced they are going to make a recovery. In both cases, some will be right and some will be wrong. Another natural first reaction is to spend every minute with the sufferer and try and wrap them in cotton wool, this may make you feel better but will do nothing to help the patient who needs to stay strong and focused, not be constantly pampered and without realizing, give up the fight.

From the first diagnosis, talk to the sufferer, tell them that you will be there with them every step of the way, but you must mean it! The first time they start vomiting, or suffer other side effects of their treatment, you can't run away and pretend it's not happening. It is happening, and they need you more than they ever have. If it is a friend who is the sufferer don't make the common mistake that they only need their family around them. They need diversion and a break from the norm, take them out if they are well enough, or just spend time with them talking and keeping positive. Many Cancer survivors thank their friends as well as their family for going on their journey with them, for just being there for them when they needed them.

Every parents worst nightmare is having a sick child, and having one of your children suffering from Cancer is one of the hardest things you will ever face. Too many parents feel guilt and blame themselves, but Cancer in children is very like Cancer in adults it will afflict the most unlikely candidates and is a lottery who will develop it and who won't. Parents who have a child diagnosed with Cancer often report that they discover a strength that they never knew they had. The urge to protect takes over all others, and the crying is done in private. Don't monopolize your sick child, make sure that they still interact with friends and siblings, the inane chatter between kids can have a profound effect in the way they deal with their illness. Sadly, not every child will recover, and a lot of parents who have lost a child to Cancer report that the fact they still took part in normal family activities and that their friends frequently visited meant that they lived their days as they would have wanted, not locked away in a room to suffer in isolation.

Nobody wants to be affected by a loved one having Cancer, but a high majority of us will come into contact with the big C during our lifetime. It is completely natural to feel confused, angry and very scared upon a Cancer diagnosis. Don't think you are alone in your trauma, there are numerous support groups out there full of like minded people going through exactly the same as you. Joining one of these can greatly improve the way you cope with the illness, and you will know you aren't alone.